Bonbon Time: A Letter to Our Motherhood Community in Maastricht

Long before I was a mom, I had a skill that all mothers learn to master quickly once they have children.

My German housemate called it:

Aus Scheiße Bonbons machen.

(“Turning shit into bonbons.”)

Yesterday, certain things happened.

I reflected—strong and hard—and realized:

It’s all well and good to be resourceful.

But what if I felt worthy enough to ask for a better raw ingredient for my bonbons than shit?

What if I imagined a reality where I was not merely surviving—but thriving?

And it hit me with an existential question around my sense of worthiness…

The Hidden Struggles of Motherhood

I’ve been juggling a lot lately and I do struggle with asking for help, especially when I’m overwhelmed.

And here’s the catch:

I struggle to ask for help because it involves human connection.

And as ridiculous as it may sound—coming from someone who is busy setting up a community for moms in Maastricht based on authentic connection—I struggle with human connection since becoming a mom.

I used to be that ride-or-die friend.

Whatever you needed, I was there.

These days, I won’t be there—because more often than not,

I simply don’t have the energy.

I prioritize my family and my well-being.

Which, honestly, often means rest.

I won’t always be able to reciprocate or even maintain basic social niceties.

So I try to be self-reliant and do it all on my own.

And I became surprisingly good at it.

But yesterday I said:

No more. No more shit bonbons. I want chocolate!

I have no idea how this journey will unfold from here.

But here’s the first step:

I need help with my household.

I need someone, who helps me to keep my house clean, because honestly, I suck at it! I always did, but with two kids, keeping the house clean became MISSION IMPOSSIBLE! 

And I wanted to share this with you to keep things real.

Because I have a strong feeling I’m not the only woman here who struggles with this.

The Heart of the Motherhood Event

Our intention was simple, when we started to create this community. 

Create a safe container for women to come together — less small talk — more authentic connection. A space, where we can talk about all aspects of motherhood. Where we can be real. Not just the pretty bit. Not just the instagram moments. All of motherhood. Because we all have our ups and downs and we are all winging it. Make it up on the go. 

Today’s standards of motherhood are impossible. 

Keeping your house neat may not be your challenge. But trust me, you drop the ball somewhere and that’s okay. We all do! And I celebrate you for it. 

Shame and a feeling of inadequacy drive us apart.

They make us hide.

They create loneliness.

The Motherhood Event Community is here to break the taboos.

The Most Radical Thing You Can Do

I want you to know that if you struggle—we have all been there. However it may seem from the outside… We all had to claw through at one point or the other the deep and dark pits of motherhood. 

But when we come together, we are strong.

What if we start seeing self-care, self-love, and reaching out as the most rebellious acts there are?

Because they truly are.

This is your invitation.

To join us and build this Maastricht motherhood community from trust.

To come together in sisterhood.

To reach out.

If you have ideas, suggestions, or need help, feel free to bring them into this space.

Please reach out - and we’ll see how we can best use the strength of this community to support each other.

Let’s create a space where we are not just coping, managing, dancing on the edge of our capabilities.

Let’s create a community that becomes our fertile ground to truly thrive on our motherhood journey.

Here’s to our rising.